5 Strategies to Help Sensory Kids Survive the Holidays

Tis the season to be anxious…FA-LA-LA-LA-LA, LA-LA-LA-LA.

Winter break, Christmas, New Year’s, decorations, a tree in the house, rearranged furniture, holiday parties, fancy clothes, school programs, church programs, family gatherings, unsolicited hugs, incessant questions, holiday music, Santa Claus, presents, family pictures, disrupted schedules, unfamiliar food, eggnog, candles, and a plethora of people — SO.MANY.PEOPLE. 

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December is a much-anticipated month that brings good tidings and joy to most people. But December is notorious for bringing out the Grinch in kiddos with sensory over-responsivity. Disrupted routines and increased social demands often lead to a merry month of meltdowns. So, what can parents do to support a child who struggles during the most wonderful time of the year?

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As a parent of a child with autism, apraxia, and sensory processing disorder, I assure you there are steps we can take to make the holiday season a little more blessed and a little less stressed. It is important for parents to anticipate that the chaos of the holidays will be stressful. Your sensory child needs you to advocate for his or her well-being, so make a plan and stick to it!

Suggested Strategies:
1.  Prepare your child for upcoming events during this hectic month.

• Provide a large calendar containing all the planned events for the month
  
• Use a written daily schedule that is reviewed and discussed each day
  
• Invite your child to cross off each event once it is complete, or cross off each day on the calendar before bed each night
• Talk about the people you are going to see at upcoming holiday parties; show your child pictures of the people you will be spending time with and review their names frequently
  
• If you are attending a holiday party at a commercial location, get online and show your child pictures of the event space (restaurant, hotel, office building)
  
• In general, avoid surprises
  
• Prior to attending a holiday gathering, provide your child with 20-30 minutes of vestibular and/or proprioceptive input to help regulate his or her nervous system (a few examples of suggested activities include rhythmical swinging, jumping on a trampoline, roughhousing, climbing on a rock wall, or playing tug-of-war)
  

2.  Keep some of your child’s routines in tact.

• Be sure preferred foods are available at family dinners and holiday parties (bring your child’s favorites along with you if necessary, or if that's not an option, feed your child before you go)
  
• Attend gatherings and parties, but only stay for a brief time (tell your child what time you plan to leave to reduce her level of anxiety)
  
• Don’t make your child wear a new outfit or a Santa hat if this causes distress (remember, there is safety in the familiar!)
  
• Try not to disrupt your child's bedtime routine
  
• Decline some invitations if you know they will not be a “good fit” for your child (I’m giving you permission to say, “I’m sorry, we won’t be able to attend, but thanks for the invite” or "My husband and I can attend, but we're going to leave our son with Grandma")
  

3.  Have an escape plan in place.

• If loud noises tend to bother your child, bring along some noise-cancelling headphones
• Identify a “quiet corner” or a “calm-down couch” where your child can go to self-regulate if he or she gets overwhelmed
• Take a walk outside to help your child re-group if things are starting to get too overwhelming inside
  
• Hang out in a quieter room that has less chaos (the kitchen is usually the busiest room in the home)
  
• Bring along a small bag of preferred toys and sensory fidgets (my son is allowed to take his portable DVD player and headphones to large family gatherings; we determine ahead of time how much time he needs to spend interacting with the family before he can go and watch a movie)
  

4.  Identify potential triggers and stressors before attending a holiday gathering. 

• You are the expert on your child which means you determine the accommodations that need to be made (not the host or hostess)
  
• Identify what causes your child to go into meltdown mode and do what you can to avoid those things
• Don’t expect your sensory child to try new things during the holidays (the goal is simply to SURVIVE - not teach new skills!)
  
• Don't force your child to greet, hug, or kiss other people (many family members are as familiar as complete strangers); sometimes we have to be okay with our sensory kiddos simply being present for the event - the more social demands we place on them, the more stressful the situation becomes
  

5.  Be honest with your family and friends about your child’s sensory needs.

• You are the only advocate your child has and most people have no idea about sensory processing disorder – so tell them (it’s called AWARENESS!)
• Don’t use the “hope and pray” approach (hope your family and friends don’t do anything to set your child off and pray your child acts like the other kids for just one day)
• Set expectations with family and friends up front:

               She probably won’t sit on Santa’s lap, and that’s okay
               He doesn’t like to be hugged, but he may give you a high-five
               She won’t sit at the table with the rest of us, but she might eat later
               He would probably like to help pass out the gifts
               We may not be able to stay very long, but we’ll at least make an appearance
               She is bothered by loud music, so we may have to step out during the sing-along

Here's the bottom line: This time of year is supposed to be jolly and fun. So try not to worry about what other people will think. Instead, focus on creating positive holiday experiences and memories for your entire family. Preparation is the key to success!

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More Preparation = Fewer Meltdowns = Peace on Earth